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Level 10

We all go through periods in our life where we find ourselves procrastinating for one reason or another. That word just about sums up my entire month. My mind was consumed with daily concerns, whether that be finances or writing and I wanted an escape. So, I made levels for myself. I said to my husband, “If I get to level 10, then there’s no going back.”


Now, mind you, I said this mostly joking. But deep in my mind, I wanted to see how far I could go. Now, what could have caused me to procrastinate so much? What began this downward spiral toward the dreaded level 10?


The book I’m currently writing. That’s what.

“But you love to write, don’t you?” you might be thinking.


Yes, to infinity! But I was seriously struggling with future thoughts about the book. Money’s tight, where am I going to get the funds to pay my editor? Is the book too far out there that even my beta readers will lose interest? Will I have to put it off another year? If I don’t meet my goals and get one book out a year, people will give up on me. I don’t want to let my fans down!


Sure, a lot of these thoughts seem far out there and paranoid. But that’s what these levels of procrastination do to a person. I distracted myself with so many things this month, whether it be binge-watching the latest show, going to the mall and walk around, starting an entirely new project that had nothing to do with writing. Guys, I did it all. And I just fell deeper into that paranoid mindset.

Until I talked to my mom. (Which, by the way, moms do know everything! 😉)


I spent St. Patrick’s Day with my parents and although we had a lot of fun just catching up, I pulled my mom aside and told her my concerns with this book. And you know what she did? She gave me some serious tough love.


Now, she’s not a writer and not much of a reader, but she said something to me that was so profound, I still can’t stop thinking about it.


I expressed to her that I had no motivation to work on this book. I was concerned about money being tight and I was hoping that maybe when I get the money, I’ll get that motivation back.


She looked at me and said, “If you’re looking/waiting for motivation, you’re not going to get it. It’s what you tell yourself!”


Just that simple statement turned my mind around. She was absolutely right. Waiting for motivation to come is like running in circles. It won’t come, not unless I put one step forward and keep moving on. No, I don’t have a lot of money right now, but that doesn’t mean the upcoming events I have won’t give me the money I need.


Motivation is an easy thing to lose and a hard thing to get back. But in the grand scheme of things, life is always going to throw us curveballs. Things will come up that will dampen our motivation and cause us to seek out that level 10. But as Charles Swindoll once said, “Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.”


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