Two years ago I made a promise to myself—a promise that I’d do everything I could to make my dreams of being a successful author come true. Whether it be financially, creatively, or even with marketing, I was determined. But, over the last few years, I broke that promise to myself without even realizing it.
See, I had this plan, one that I believed was foolproof. This plan was going to help me get to the top and accomplish all of my dreams. It wasn’t until the beginning of this month that I realized my genius plan became my entire focus. Now, I truly believed that I was still completely focused on my writing and my goals, and honestly, I had fooled myself. I allowed my original plan to dictate when I was going to “feel” creative and whatever the plan deemed most important in my life, I followed without question. Sounds scary, right? I didn’t realize how scary that was until I had a really good conversation with my sister.
I told her about my plan and how I had seen what it was doing to my daily life. She put a gentle hand on my arm and said, “You need to be kinder to yourself.” And for the rest of the month, I constantly thought about what she told me. At first, I argued internally, I thought I was being kind to myself, it was my original plan that was taking hold of my life. But, you see, I was letting it.
There’s something to be said about the power we naturally wield. That power is control, whether that be over ourselves or situations we get ourselves into. We have the power to say yes or no to things that come into our lives. And for me, I didn’t know how to say “no”. Which, is partly why this plan of mine took control. I was too afraid to say that word because I was too afraid that my plan would fall apart and I’d have to conjure up a new way to make my dreams come true. But that little two-letter word is the most important weapon in our arsenal. Because that reconfirms in our minds that we always have control.
So, as we ring in the new year, I want to challenge you to choose you. Focus on self-care. I’m not talking about going to the spa, binge-watching your favorite movie, or reading a book. I’m talking about focusing on your goals and dreams because that is a form of self-care. Make sure you don’t fall into the same trap that I did and make sure that whatever “plan” you may have stays only a plan.